Collapsing Shack
Arizona: This week, in a hope to increase book sales, I have taken it
upon myself to interview America’s newest hero as he takes on his most
difficult challenge yet.
When I caught up to him, Jack Primus
put down his brain splattered sledge hammer just long enough to say, “I
hope you’re all getting a kick out of this. I have to face the villains
from not just my world, but three others as well; just to help Michael
D. Griffiths make some books sales. It might sound good for the author,
but being forced to fight cyberpunk undead Xemmoni that come from an
evil filled planet of high magic really sucks when you are on this side
of the pages.”
Jack With an Axe
When I pointed out
that selling more copies might mean he would get to be in more books,
Jack said, “Hell, I’m already in a few books, loads of artwork, and a
weekly blog, but what good does it do me? Oooo I get to get beat up more
often.”
When the swarms of
zombies that surrounded him grew closer, he thrust an axe into my hands
and said, “I’m not even from a world of zombies. I hate zombies, they
remind me of my first girlfriend. But now I’m stuck fighting them just
to help promote my author’s Zombie Apocalypse series, Eternal Aftermath. Does he care that I’m not even in that series…? No!”
Zombie March
After we cut down
enough zombies to give ourselves some breathing room for a moment, I
asked him about the allies that he fought side by side with. “These Skinjumpers
are the only silver lining to this whole mess, but these high tech
cloned heroes brought their own cyber powered villains with them. Do you
know how much it blows hitting some guy with a sledge hammer who you
think is just a normal dude, but then find out he’s made of solid metal.
My fingers are still numb from the last impact. And if you’ve never
been hit by a laser, let me tell you something, IT REALLY SUCKS! I
almost rather be bit by a zombie. Yeah, if it wasn’t for that whole
plague thing. By the way, looks like you were bit. Sorry fella, but I
guess I’ll be your last interview.”
I was starting to fell a little light headed, but managed to spit out a question about Dalsala Den.
“Yeah, that high level magic using a-hole is the worst of the lot. I
thought I had things bad on my world. Shit, I’d rather fight Vile Darken
than that guy. I had a group of cops here helping me, but he turned
half on them into solid ice and the other half became… crawdads. He says
he wants to take over this planet. Well line up scum bag. I wish there
was some way I could just let them fight against each other… and… kill…
themselves… off. Hey, let’s light that trash on fire and use the
smokescreen to go grab ourselves a few ales.”
Even though I was starting to bleed from my eye sockets, I agreed as long as the first round and the cheese steaks were on him.
