Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts
Monday, March 3, 2014
Wednesday, January 15, 2014
A Shameless Plug or Jack Primus faces the Eternal Aftermath, and with the help of Skinjumpers, fights Dalsala Den
Collapsing Shack
Arizona: This week, in a hope to increase book sales, I have taken it
upon myself to interview America’s newest hero as he takes on his most
difficult challenge yet.
When I caught up to him, Jack Primus
put down his brain splattered sledge hammer just long enough to say, “I
hope you’re all getting a kick out of this. I have to face the villains
from not just my world, but three others as well; just to help Michael
D. Griffiths make some books sales. It might sound good for the author,
but being forced to fight cyberpunk undead Xemmoni that come from an
evil filled planet of high magic really sucks when you are on this side
of the pages.”
Jack With an Axe
When I pointed out
that selling more copies might mean he would get to be in more books,
Jack said, “Hell, I’m already in a few books, loads of artwork, and a
weekly blog, but what good does it do me? Oooo I get to get beat up more
often.”
When the swarms of
zombies that surrounded him grew closer, he thrust an axe into my hands
and said, “I’m not even from a world of zombies. I hate zombies, they
remind me of my first girlfriend. But now I’m stuck fighting them just
to help promote my author’s Zombie Apocalypse series, Eternal Aftermath. Does he care that I’m not even in that series…? No!”
Zombie March
After we cut down
enough zombies to give ourselves some breathing room for a moment, I
asked him about the allies that he fought side by side with. “These Skinjumpers
are the only silver lining to this whole mess, but these high tech
cloned heroes brought their own cyber powered villains with them. Do you
know how much it blows hitting some guy with a sledge hammer who you
think is just a normal dude, but then find out he’s made of solid metal.
My fingers are still numb from the last impact. And if you’ve never
been hit by a laser, let me tell you something, IT REALLY SUCKS! I
almost rather be bit by a zombie. Yeah, if it wasn’t for that whole
plague thing. By the way, looks like you were bit. Sorry fella, but I
guess I’ll be your last interview.”
I was starting to fell a little light headed, but managed to spit out a question about Dalsala Den.
“Yeah, that high level magic using a-hole is the worst of the lot. I
thought I had things bad on my world. Shit, I’d rather fight Vile Darken
than that guy. I had a group of cops here helping me, but he turned
half on them into solid ice and the other half became… crawdads. He says
he wants to take over this planet. Well line up scum bag. I wish there
was some way I could just let them fight against each other… and… kill…
themselves… off. Hey, let’s light that trash on fire and use the
smokescreen to go grab ourselves a few ales.”
Even though I was starting to bleed from my eye sockets, I agreed as long as the first round and the cheese steaks were on him.
Monday, January 6, 2014
Sunday, December 29, 2013
Search Truth Quest
What happens when you allow The Daily Discord crew to try to solve the mysteries of the Universe?
This might not be pretty…
Wednesday, November 13, 2013
Daily Discord News 2
I didn't even know I was in this Daily
Discord Video until I watched it!! Welcome to Discord New !!
Friday, November 8, 2013
The Haunted Weatherford in Flagstaff Arizona
What happens when you take a group of chaos driven wild individuals
and give them permission to explore you 140 year old hotel for Ghosts?
Well just click below to find out… if you dare!!!
Thursday, November 7, 2013
Williams Ghost Invesitgation Video
Hello Brave souls.
Here is our 4th Daily Discord Ghost Investigation Video!
Williams Arizona was known as the Gateway to the Grand Canon, but it may now be know for being the gatewate to Terror or maybe just goofiness, you decide.
Looking for more comedy? Check this out!
Here is our 4th Daily Discord Ghost Investigation Video!
Williams Arizona was known as the Gateway to the Grand Canon, but it may now be know for being the gatewate to Terror or maybe just goofiness, you decide.
Saturday, September 14, 2013
Two Guns, No Clue
Two Guns, No Clue
Here is a fun short Video that my friends and I made last weekendHere is the video
Enjoy
Saturday, August 31, 2013
SJ and The Shovel Begins
Knucklehead’s Note:
In October of 2008 and English Writer Named Sarah Jane Higbee and Myself quite randomly, and with no real intention to do so, began a back and forth series of forum posts. If you asked me now, I couldn’t even tell you how or why they began, but it happened and even today SJ and I are still writing bizarre fiction together. So sit back and enjoy the beginning of SJ and the Shovel. I should also probably add that new members of the forum were stable hands and that is how the idea of having a shovel started.
SJ: My shovel… You mustn’t forget the shovel. Especially as I polished it, today. Again…
Mike: Hey you were supposed to turn that in.
I keep telling you that. Now the next new guys is going to have to use his hands and that is just nasty.
SJ: Not necessarily… After a while I used my hands – after my shovel whispered to me that he didn’t want to get dirty anymore.
Mike: Ok SJ. We’ve all come together here today to talk about your shovel. We’re your friends and we just wanted to first let you know that we are all here for you, but we also all think you and the shovel have been spending way too much time together. I think it is time for you to start leaving the shovel in the barn.
SJ: Noooo… It’s a SHY shovel. It doesn’t want any attention – other than mine of course. I’m the ONLY one that truly understand his needs and wants… And he DOESN’T want to spend another lonely and unloved night in the barn. HE NEEDS MEEEEEE…
Mike: Okay I have a plan, TA show her a drawing while CW distracts her with chocolate, then I am going in and trying to get that darn shovel.
Crystalwizard: That won’t work at all, Mike. The problem is, you see, that S.J. had that shovel surgically attached.
Mike: The Horror, The Horror
This is getting more complicated. We either been to find a surgeon or just little him forfill his destiny and become Lord OfThe Shovels. King of the Stables. Master of the Barn.
Just be careful going camping, people might ask to barrow the shovel when they have to do their business and that could get even more complicated.
SJ: want to know – who ratted me out to CW about Shovel and me and our little op??? Which we prefer to think of as a BONDING procedure, by the way.
And Mike – WHAT makes you think anyone is ever going to get anywhere near Shovel to dig holes? He prefers to express his creativity in OTHER more meaningful ways. And chocolate won’t do it, either… Shovel is allergic.
Mike:
Welllllllll…
We do have some nice rooms in the hospital where we work for people with ‘special’ attachments. But I think you should just become the Lord of Shovels Like I said. You shovel doesn’t have to get dirty then, you could just rule over the other shovels and make them do at the work. Would you be okay with that?
Now if you can just take these nice pills for me we can talk about it some more on the unit. The people in there are really nice. You’ll like them. Come on, it is just a few small pills. There are called Zeprexa and help people relax.
Turn in next week and meet Little Wax Head BOY!
Check out more of my Writing here!
In October of 2008 and English Writer Named Sarah Jane Higbee and Myself quite randomly, and with no real intention to do so, began a back and forth series of forum posts. If you asked me now, I couldn’t even tell you how or why they began, but it happened and even today SJ and I are still writing bizarre fiction together. So sit back and enjoy the beginning of SJ and the Shovel. I should also probably add that new members of the forum were stable hands and that is how the idea of having a shovel started.
SJ: My shovel… You mustn’t forget the shovel. Especially as I polished it, today. Again…
Mike: Hey you were supposed to turn that in.
I keep telling you that. Now the next new guys is going to have to use his hands and that is just nasty.
SJ: Not necessarily… After a while I used my hands – after my shovel whispered to me that he didn’t want to get dirty anymore.
Mike: Ok SJ. We’ve all come together here today to talk about your shovel. We’re your friends and we just wanted to first let you know that we are all here for you, but we also all think you and the shovel have been spending way too much time together. I think it is time for you to start leaving the shovel in the barn.
SJ: Noooo… It’s a SHY shovel. It doesn’t want any attention – other than mine of course. I’m the ONLY one that truly understand his needs and wants… And he DOESN’T want to spend another lonely and unloved night in the barn. HE NEEDS MEEEEEE…
Mike: Okay I have a plan, TA show her a drawing while CW distracts her with chocolate, then I am going in and trying to get that darn shovel.
Crystalwizard: That won’t work at all, Mike. The problem is, you see, that S.J. had that shovel surgically attached.
Mike: The Horror, The Horror
This is getting more complicated. We either been to find a surgeon or just little him forfill his destiny and become Lord OfThe Shovels. King of the Stables. Master of the Barn.
Just be careful going camping, people might ask to barrow the shovel when they have to do their business and that could get even more complicated.
SJ: want to know – who ratted me out to CW about Shovel and me and our little op??? Which we prefer to think of as a BONDING procedure, by the way.
And Mike – WHAT makes you think anyone is ever going to get anywhere near Shovel to dig holes? He prefers to express his creativity in OTHER more meaningful ways. And chocolate won’t do it, either… Shovel is allergic.
Mike:
Welllllllll…
We do have some nice rooms in the hospital where we work for people with ‘special’ attachments. But I think you should just become the Lord of Shovels Like I said. You shovel doesn’t have to get dirty then, you could just rule over the other shovels and make them do at the work. Would you be okay with that?
Now if you can just take these nice pills for me we can talk about it some more on the unit. The people in there are really nice. You’ll like them. Come on, it is just a few small pills. There are called Zeprexa and help people relax.
Turn in next week and meet Little Wax Head BOY!
Wednesday, August 21, 2013
Winslow Removes the Discord ‘Casting Couch’ from Zano’s Office
Collapsing Shack, AZ—After losing dozens of
potentially talented reporters and multiple lawsuits, the Daily
Discord’s CEO finally moved the official Discord ‘Casting Couch’ from
Mick Zano’s office. “This latest list of atrocities and abuses marked
the last straw,” said CEO Pierce Winslow. “And this time I mean it!”
As a result, threats, blubbering, and attempted bribery were heard echoing up and down the halls of Discord Central today.
“What can you expect?” said Winslow. “Do you see a lot
of women working here? Guess why that is? Yep, it’s because either Mick
Zano or the Ghetto Shaman scares them off. That and the fact we have no
toilets in the rest room. And don’t even get me started on what they
make the interns do. At this point, the only college that still sends us
any is that damn Hogbein Institute and Multiplex. And the last one I
got from there thought the World Wide Web was something from the Lord of
the Rings.”
In his defense, Zano brought up the fact Cokie McGrath still worked for the Discord, “so we can’t be all bad.”
Winslow then pointed out the fact McGrath has filed no
less than seven restraining orders against Zano and is even beginning
to doubt whether or not he can truly “make her a star.”
The Daily Discord
When Zano was given a chance for a rebuttal, he had
this to say. “This is completely unfair. Four of those restraining
orders are completely unjustified.” And somewhere in the background
someone did that badha bah, drum thing.
“Winslow could have at least waited until the Swedish exchange student bikini team had finished their tour,” added the Shaman.
Winslow countered by saying, “and I’m taking away that damn Badha bah drummer too!”
I caught up to local horror writer Michael D.
Griffiths, who tends to lurk around the office looking for free
pastries, and asked him if he knew of any inappropriate behavior going
on within the halls of the Discord.
“Umm, as long as begging, screaming, panting,
grunting, bribing, pleading, demanding, hanging up porn calendars, third
party harassment, quid pro quo, inappropriate emails, asking to wife
swap, hanging up flyers for office orgies, giving crude gifts, pinching,
hugging, froughting, naughty pantomiming, knee licking, trying to get
other employee to give out their daughter’s cell numbers, and hiring
topless dancers for lunch breaks are okay, then I think these guys are
pretty well behaved,” said Griffiths.
Mr. Griffiths later admitted, however, the Ghetto Shaman’s list would be “considerably longer.”
So as you can see, even with the loss of the infamous
Casting Couch not much will probably change around Discord Central. When
we asked Winslow where it would go, he said he was considering giving
the couch to the Crank. “That guy needs something to cheer him up.”
Now you have to excuse me, the Crank is researching
which bar has the best PBR pour in Mesa and the new interns from the
institute are due to arrive any minute. Can you open a locked door with a
church key? I mean they must call them keys for some reason.
Tuesday, August 13, 2013
Putin: “I’m Only Gay With the Clergy”
| Putin: “I’m Only Gay With the Clergy” | ||||||||||||||
 |
||||||||||||||
| Deluise: “Sure, and I’ma da Pope.” |
Thursday, July 25, 2013
Motherroad Brewers attacked by Chaos
One day in early February in the year
2013, the minions of Chaos known as a The Daily Discord stormed the
Motherroad Brewery in Flagstaff Arizona.
But this was no ordinary day, for the brews of the mighty Deschutes of Bend had traveled across the winter wastes to team up and brew a ale worthy of the Flagstaff/Oregon wormhole.
You will learn so much more here. Not just about the brewers, but perhaps something about the nature of reality itself or at least how to survive the apocalypse and still have a cold one.
Check out Bacchanalian explosion Below!!
Wednesday, July 17, 2013
So Dionysus, a Viking, and a girl with Goggle eyes walk into a bar.
I'm
giving this a big shout out. What happens when Dionysus, a Viking, and a girl
with Goggle eyes walk into a bar.
Check out the whole Video here!
You can catch more new laughs each day here!
Saturday, July 6, 2013
Snowden Widens Asylum Search to All M-Class Planets
 |
|||||||
| Somewhere— Denied refuge in any country on Earth, whistle-blower Edward Snowden is expanding his search to all planets the Hubble found to be earthlike. When explained how scientists can’t be sure of any planet’s habitability outside of our own solar system, Snowden wept. |
Catch more Comedy Here!
Wednesday, June 26, 2013
Arizona’s Crawdad Menace and Other Disturbing Observations
Caved-in-Shack, AZ—Something deeply disturbing is happening in
Arizona. No, I’m not talking about Janet Brewer, Immigration laws, or
Mick Zano’s naked bar crawls….I’m talking about something reaaalllly disturbing.
Back when I was shelling out ten bucks a bag in New Orleans for
mini-lobsters known as crawdads, how could I have known a few years
later these same bastards would be on the verge of destroying my state’s
ecosystem?
In case you are unaware, crayfish or crawdads are not native to the states west of the Rockies, like funding for education and the arts. Over the years, scores of intrepid crawdads died trying to traverse the Rockies. Most eventually gave up and settled in Denver to open microbreweries…very small ones, obviously, or micro-microbreweries.
In a similar manner to the republican migration, crawdads have crept into the southwest and have invaded our delicate ecosystem with their big trucks and their wild tea parties. These evil little beasts have infected the streams and lakes in every part of my home state—not to mention their racially charged immigration bills.
Similar to the red state’s pro-Christian stance, many of these crayfish were introduced through a misconception of facts. A statewide program for seventh-graders had the children studying these, nearly impossible to kill, cockroaches from hell. Then, at the end of the school year, in a truly misguided attempt at environmentalism, teachers had their students dump this destructive invasive species into every stream and pond across our fair state. This is why eco-friendly people are often only slightly more devastating to our planet than the Sarah Palin’s of the world. Hey, maybe Sarah can shoot crawdads from her chopper?
Once in our formally tranquil waters, these demonic (yet tasty) crayfish begin to devour everything in their path, much like laws enacted by our governor’s red pen. Soon all aquatic life is killed off. After this eradication comes the demise of all plant life. Without plants there is nothing to recycle to carbon dioxide other than algae—not to mention, there’s nothing to smoke. This turns clear streams and lakes into murky dark pools, where the crawfish now have no choice other than to eat each other in a dark cannibalistic frenzy, not dissimilar to Zano’s naked bar crawls.
As a follower of Yig, I find the loss of frogs and other amphibians across our state the most depressing aspect of this crustacean invasion. Even the most selfish swimmer cannot be enjoying a wade into the murk with crawfish nipping at your toes, unless they’re trying to save money on a pedicure.
So what can we do to stem the tide of evil and death that is sweeping over the west? The answer is simple. All crawfish must be boiled alive and eaten, preferably with butter sauce. Boil that crayfish, boil that crayfish. Boil! Boil! Devour those selfish shellfish, munch on those crusty-aceans, cook those lobster mobsters, can those crabby…I’m being told to stop.
It is only fitting that we, the species responsible for started this plague, sacrifice our time to eat as many of these delicious morsels as possible. It’s a rough job, but sometimes sacrifices must be made. And, if such sacrifices involve eating endless piles of buttery white meat that tastes like lobster, then so be it.
Leave no stone unturned! (Literally.)
So, my fellow Americans, pick up your nets, your traps, your spears, and maybe some of those concealed handguns, and let’s go crawdadding! Book your Coconino County Crawdad Chopper Safari with Alex Bone today!
You can check out more of my Writing here!
You can so even more Comedy Here!
In case you are unaware, crayfish or crawdads are not native to the states west of the Rockies, like funding for education and the arts. Over the years, scores of intrepid crawdads died trying to traverse the Rockies. Most eventually gave up and settled in Denver to open microbreweries…very small ones, obviously, or micro-microbreweries.
In a similar manner to the republican migration, crawdads have crept into the southwest and have invaded our delicate ecosystem with their big trucks and their wild tea parties. These evil little beasts have infected the streams and lakes in every part of my home state—not to mention their racially charged immigration bills.
Similar to the red state’s pro-Christian stance, many of these crayfish were introduced through a misconception of facts. A statewide program for seventh-graders had the children studying these, nearly impossible to kill, cockroaches from hell. Then, at the end of the school year, in a truly misguided attempt at environmentalism, teachers had their students dump this destructive invasive species into every stream and pond across our fair state. This is why eco-friendly people are often only slightly more devastating to our planet than the Sarah Palin’s of the world. Hey, maybe Sarah can shoot crawdads from her chopper?
Once in our formally tranquil waters, these demonic (yet tasty) crayfish begin to devour everything in their path, much like laws enacted by our governor’s red pen. Soon all aquatic life is killed off. After this eradication comes the demise of all plant life. Without plants there is nothing to recycle to carbon dioxide other than algae—not to mention, there’s nothing to smoke. This turns clear streams and lakes into murky dark pools, where the crawfish now have no choice other than to eat each other in a dark cannibalistic frenzy, not dissimilar to Zano’s naked bar crawls.
As a follower of Yig, I find the loss of frogs and other amphibians across our state the most depressing aspect of this crustacean invasion. Even the most selfish swimmer cannot be enjoying a wade into the murk with crawfish nipping at your toes, unless they’re trying to save money on a pedicure.
So what can we do to stem the tide of evil and death that is sweeping over the west? The answer is simple. All crawfish must be boiled alive and eaten, preferably with butter sauce. Boil that crayfish, boil that crayfish. Boil! Boil! Devour those selfish shellfish, munch on those crusty-aceans, cook those lobster mobsters, can those crabby…I’m being told to stop.
It is only fitting that we, the species responsible for started this plague, sacrifice our time to eat as many of these delicious morsels as possible. It’s a rough job, but sometimes sacrifices must be made. And, if such sacrifices involve eating endless piles of buttery white meat that tastes like lobster, then so be it.
Leave no stone unturned! (Literally.)
So, my fellow Americans, pick up your nets, your traps, your spears, and maybe some of those concealed handguns, and let’s go crawdadding! Book your Coconino County Crawdad Chopper Safari with Alex Bone today!
You can check out more of my Writing here!
You can so even more Comedy Here!
Friday, June 21, 2013
Explore the horror of Arizona's Bonefoot if you dare! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lA92OHnfuTg
Come check our first official Video from The Daily Discord.
And Discover Arizona's own Bigfoot!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lA92OHnfuTg
And Discover Arizona's own Bigfoot!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lA92OHnfuTg
Thursday, May 23, 2013
Top Ten Reasons Face Book Sucks
1. You see faces.
2. You share too much.
3. Your mistress always wants to befriend you.
4. You share way too much.
5. Your mother finds out about your strange attraction to dolphins.
6. Kim Jong-un has more friends than you, in America.
7. You get tagged in the gay bestiality rodeo.
8. The cops sequester your page to prove your link to the crawdad smuggling underground.
9. Your drunken Face Book post ends up in the agency newsletter.
10, That shit on your home page makes the gay bestiality rodeo seem good.
The Daily Discord
Monday, May 20, 2013
Wednesday, May 15, 2013
Jack Primus, The Ghetto Shaman, and All the Chicken Wings they could eat Rally
Washington, DC—On Oct. 30th The National Mall was packed wall-to-wall with celebrities attending the Shaman’s Rally to Retrieve the U.S. Soul.
After a long weekend of bashing in the skulls of the foul Darcarre,
Jack Primus swung east in support of the Discord’s cause. Being a
fictional character doesn’t stop Primus from doing any number of cool
things on a given day. You know that dude, the world’s most interesting
man, from those Dos Equis commercials? Jack Primus won’t return his
calls.
Jack is the archetypal hero. He captured the new century’s zeitgeist
and keeps it chained in his basement next to his morning star. Primus
rarely does interviews, but for the Discord…we paid him—virtual money,
of course.
The rest of this post is courtesy of Mr. P himself:
The Ghetto Shaman has given his blessing to Yig. He is truly wise.
Since he’s been receiving death threats from both the Xemmoni
underground and the Sharron Angle campaign—both sworn enemies of Yig—I
decided to help out my old friend. He asked me to support his cause,
protect him from the super natural forces that be, and, of course, buy
him some malt liquor products. Actually, I only agreed if GS promised me
a plug on the Discord to sell more books. He also promised me all the
chicken wings I could eat. The joke was really on them; I hid an extra
eighty in my backpack on the way out. I heard Zano is getting his
“wages” garnished over that one. But GS told me he’s got Winslow wrapped
around his little chicken wing and I could muscle-in whenever I wanted.
If what happened at the Mall on October 30th continues to plague
America, you’re really going to need the Chronicles of Jack Primus.
It’s not just a book; it’s a survival guide for the coming apocalypse!
To rewind a bit, everything had started out well enough. The Discord was bussing people down to the event. The Ghetto Shaman was reading excerpts of Jack Primus to the cheering masses. But those who could not decipher the Primus Code, never got a bus ride home! This book was their return ticket, you see. Without it, they were forced to hang out at Capital City Brewing—that big dumb brewpub downtown; the one with small portions and rubbery chicken wings. If you get stuck down there and the Xemmoni or the Darcarre get you, don’t come bitching to me. You’ve been warned. They’re in all the major cities, and they tend to know when you know…you know? So now that you know, you better read this book and learn how to stay alive…and don’t order those chicken wings.
I probably shouldn’t have told you that. Can you edit that out, Winslow? Not the staying alive part, the other part about the wings. Sometimes they’re OK drowned in enough blue cheese dressing. But you should buy the book and try to stay alive, of course. Geesh.
So, you want to really know what happened on October 30th? Why GS needed me as he shifted into an alternate dimension? He isn’t called a Shaman for nothing. They did come after him that day—in mass, I might add. You see, anyone and everyone must guard his or her corporeal body during any exercise in soul travel, especially one this important.
When The Ghetto Shaman drank his potion on the Lincoln Memorial steps, those damn Darcarre moved in like bed bugs in an Econo Lodge. They surrounded us, alongside their unwilling slave, Jeff “come-on-in-guys” Probst of Survivor fame. They didn’t want GS’s message to get out to the people. They will derail any message resembling Yig’s. Could you imagine what would have happened if GS told everyone on national television to dissolve our differences and embrace the All Father snake? Yep, you’re right, we’d all be in a state of bliss, with all hunger and wars a thing of the past. Don’t look at me like that… Snakes are all about bliss… duh. Haven’t you ever read any Graham Hancock?
So when they came, I was ready, or at least I was after I wiped the
BBQ sauce off my weapon hand. GS even helped with the battle; he was
pretty bad ass with those chicken bone nunchucks. We gave those Serial
Killers a good licking, but the damage was done. They jammed the
telecast and those other stooges claimed all the credit for the rally.
Why do you think the special wasn’t on television and they switched all the coverage to those Comedy Central dudes with the weird haircuts and no sideburns? It was a diversion! I kept the Shaman safe until the police…er, “took over.”
There you have it, right from the hero’s mouth. Some call Primus a Yig-loving fictional freak. Whereas this is true, it’s still not a very nice thing to say. We would rather you stay alive, learn your enemy’s secrets, and read The Chronicles of Jack Primus.
Check out the Chronicles of Jack Primus here!
You can Check out more Laughs Here!
The rest of this post is courtesy of Mr. P himself:
Jack Primus
To rewind a bit, everything had started out well enough. The Discord was bussing people down to the event. The Ghetto Shaman was reading excerpts of Jack Primus to the cheering masses. But those who could not decipher the Primus Code, never got a bus ride home! This book was their return ticket, you see. Without it, they were forced to hang out at Capital City Brewing—that big dumb brewpub downtown; the one with small portions and rubbery chicken wings. If you get stuck down there and the Xemmoni or the Darcarre get you, don’t come bitching to me. You’ve been warned. They’re in all the major cities, and they tend to know when you know…you know? So now that you know, you better read this book and learn how to stay alive…and don’t order those chicken wings.
I probably shouldn’t have told you that. Can you edit that out, Winslow? Not the staying alive part, the other part about the wings. Sometimes they’re OK drowned in enough blue cheese dressing. But you should buy the book and try to stay alive, of course. Geesh.
So, you want to really know what happened on October 30th? Why GS needed me as he shifted into an alternate dimension? He isn’t called a Shaman for nothing. They did come after him that day—in mass, I might add. You see, anyone and everyone must guard his or her corporeal body during any exercise in soul travel, especially one this important.
When The Ghetto Shaman drank his potion on the Lincoln Memorial steps, those damn Darcarre moved in like bed bugs in an Econo Lodge. They surrounded us, alongside their unwilling slave, Jeff “come-on-in-guys” Probst of Survivor fame. They didn’t want GS’s message to get out to the people. They will derail any message resembling Yig’s. Could you imagine what would have happened if GS told everyone on national television to dissolve our differences and embrace the All Father snake? Yep, you’re right, we’d all be in a state of bliss, with all hunger and wars a thing of the past. Don’t look at me like that… Snakes are all about bliss… duh. Haven’t you ever read any Graham Hancock?
Why do you think the special wasn’t on television and they switched all the coverage to those Comedy Central dudes with the weird haircuts and no sideburns? It was a diversion! I kept the Shaman safe until the police…er, “took over.”
There you have it, right from the hero’s mouth. Some call Primus a Yig-loving fictional freak. Whereas this is true, it’s still not a very nice thing to say. We would rather you stay alive, learn your enemy’s secrets, and read The Chronicles of Jack Primus.
Check out the Chronicles of Jack Primus here!
You can Check out more Laughs Here!
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