Collapsing shack Arizona: After traveling over 300 light
years and listening to the same songs 10,000,000,000 times, the
invasion force from the planet Gloom 666 has turned around and decided
to head back home.
When asked why they made the choice to return to their
world without invading ours, their Admiral Wigaling had this to say.
“First off this place smells. Normally we go in and steal resources, but
there are barely enough here to bother. We like stealing cultures as
well, but again… once we saw what you had to offer, it was another big,
why bother. And don’t even get me started on your women… I’ve seen less
entitlement from the twin princesses of Mollun 5.”
When I pointed out the huge tracks of virgin forest in
Alaska and other wondrous natural resources we still had, he looked at
me like I was insane and said, “What is the matter with you? You act
like you want to be attacked and have your existence completely
destroyed. Are you an idiot or something? I feel like attacking your
planet just so I can kill your dumb ass.”
For some reason the United Nations expelled me from the
conference after that. But I think we have all learned a valuable lesson
here. There is an upside to environmental destruction. Yes, just like
how I avoid identify theft by having an identity no one would want, we
are now protecting our lifestyles by making our Earth so useless that
domination conquest will pass us right by. I might even have to vote
Republican next election.
The Daily Discord
No comments:
Post a Comment